her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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