Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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