based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
