I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Randomize
