At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
