ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
