your parents love me but you hate me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
