Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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