i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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