Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
