he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
