hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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