it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
