she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
