Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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