...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
