They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Randomize
