Sponge bath it is.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
