I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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