i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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