so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Go christen that room with your naked body.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
