I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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