dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
