i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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