it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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