Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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