i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
