I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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