he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
