You really coming over, don't trick.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
