Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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