I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
