Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
