..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
