Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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