he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
