Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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