The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
