Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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