my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
