Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
