i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
