If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
