Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
