drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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