vagina is talking i cant
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
