she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
