I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
