You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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