Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
