i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
