I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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